Sleepless Beauty
by Elf Asato
Summary: [Mainly TsuzukiHisoka and WatariHisoka] Hisoka's confused about Tsuzuki's emotions and with Watari's help, he'll have to overcome obstacles and barriers, but he's not the only one who has problems to overcome.
1. Part 1 (Hisoka)

Title: Sleepless Beauty (Part 1 of 4)

Author: Elf Asato

Pairings: Eventual Tsuzuki/Hisoka

Warnings: Shounen-ai (obviously), language, mild angst, OOC?

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Sadly, Yami no Matsuei doesn't belong to me…aaa…what a world.  The song _Sleepless Beauty_ is off Gravitation, so that doesn't belong to me, either! ;.;

Notes: Aa…I usually don't really like to swear, but I fear it would be so un-YnM-like…the troubles of being a writer…  

Song fic to Sleepless Beauty from Gravitation.  Hn, it's just various lyrics everywhere… ^_^  I suppose it sucks to have the song drawn out in three parts!  Regarding the lyrics…I'm going to have just the English translation in the story, but at the end of each part I'll have the Japanese lyrics used in that part.  Confusing, I'm sorry….

_Italics_ are indicating what Hisoka writes in his journal.  [**Lyrics**] Obvious….

As you may have known, it used to be just 3, but I'm adding a part 4, which will be Tatsumi's!  (Hisoka 1, Watari 2, Tsuzuki 3)  And I'm going to write a sequel!  Yes!  I'm just having too much fun with this ^_^

Aa, someone told me in a review that I needed to write a multi-part, so here it is!

====================

Sleepless Beauty

By Elf Asato

====================

[**I've been charmed by your eyes from far away; wake up and wait for me**

**Call out and break the night's barricade; the crowd comes out of the reflection**]

_It's not like I even know how to begin.  There are just some things I want to do, but think I can't and vice versa.  It all seems kind of messed up to me anyway._

_Is it even supposed to be this way?_

_Moreover, does anyone care?_

_No one has ever really cared so I won't make a bit of a difference what I say and don't say.  The silence won't speak more than the words – and no one will really care, so it's fine.  It's just fine._

_Everyone's fine, everything's fine, except me.  I'm not fine._

_In fact, I'm more 'not-fine' than I've been in a while.  I'm so 'not-fine' that I'm forced to resort to writing in a journal to convey what I really feel, or else I'll explode._

_…Or…something like that._

_(Actually, Tsuzuki forced me to write in it…but you know what I mean, right?)_

_Speaking of him, everything is 'not-fine' between us.  He thinks it's great, but it's not.  It's not.  Everything is just NOT FINE._

"'Soka-chan," Tsuzuki said in a mock whine, "are you finished with that journal I got you?  Geez, I didn't think you'd actually be _using_ in it…."

Hisoka looked up from his writing and quickly closed the said journal, growing just a tad bit red around the ears.  "Well…I am," he muttered.

Though Hisoka had never technically said thanks or expressed any form of gratitude, Tsuzuki took it as it anyway.  "Glad you're enjoying it!" he chirped happily, but then his eyes grew mischievous.  "Sooooooo…what were you writing…?"

Scowling, Hisoka clutched his new journal protectively and muttered, "None of your damn business…."

"Ah, so harsh!" he said melodramatically as he sprawled out across the table on his back for emphasis.  "Can I see anyway?"

"No!" Hisoka barked, sharper than he had intended with his ears growing redder.

"Aw come on, 'Soka-chan!  This old man wants a peek inside the mind of an angsty teen!" Tsuzuki said rather loudly, still on his back and waving his arms for more emphasis.

At their little table outside a little Japanese restaurant in Kyoto (this time, their visit is a much happier one!), they drew many strange looks from people passing by.

Noticing that everyone in the restaurant was staring, the young Shinigami grew even _redder_ (if possible) around the ears and growled, quickly opening the journal, "Fine!  You want to know what I wrote?!  I'll read it to you!"

"Yeah!" Tsuzuki chirped again, resuming an upright position in his chair.

Hisoka opened the first page of the journal and began in a monotone voice, "Today I woke up.  I had breakfast.  I went to work, but Tsuzuki said he got us the day off.  We went to earth.  Tsuzuki took me to a Japanese restaurant.  We got an outside table.  Tsuzuki gave me this journal.  Tsuzuki said it was a present.  Tsuzuki made me write in it.  I'm writing in it.  I'm still writing.  I bet Tsuzuki stole this.  I'm still writing.  The weather's nice.  I'm still writing."

Tsuzuki looked highly sheepish as he muttered, "I didn't _steal it_…  I didn't _steal anything_…."

Closing the journal softly, Hisoka blinked, surprised that his partner had actually paid _attention_ to the complete and utter (for lack of a better word) _crap_ he had just made up.

"Okay, so I _borrowed_ some yen from Tatsumi without him knowing…but is that really considered _stealing_?" he continued.  "I say it's not considered it if you're planning on paying the person back….  Right, 'Soka-chan?"

Hisoka hesitated a little before muttering, "…Right…" and letting his partner continue on with his philosophy of stealing.  Opening the journal again, he continued where he left off.

_(Same day, a few minutes later)_

_I actually don't know what to make of Tsuzuki's actions.  Of course, he's always been harder to read than anyone else, but today I've been noticing a new feeling in him.  I first noticed it a couple of weeks ago, but today I've felt it strongly.  It's like…everything rolled up into one, but yet it's not like that at all.  It's not something I'm familiar with, so I don't know what it is…   And that bothers me.  I want to know what he's thinking.  I want to know what he's feeling.  I want to know if he's all right._

_It's just new stuff like this that's been bothering me._

_That's why everything's not fine, as stated before._

[**(There is no way out) if you plan to endure the impact**

**(Until it collapses) a projected lie**]__

_Before I could depend on Tsuzuki's false happiness and inner despair to read his actions, his feelings, but that inner despair has deteriorated greatly (Tatsumi commented on it once to Watari and me) and that happiness has become more and more true._

_I suppose it makes me a terrible person for wishing the old Tsuzuki back._

_Things were just easier that way._

Hisoka stopped writing to look up and observe his topic, but found that his topic was already in his face.

"That's a hell of a lot of 'I'm still writing's," Tsuzuki commented bluntly, taking a quick peek at what Hisoka had been writing.

The younger Shinigami's face flushed as he slammed the book closed on Tsuzuki's nose.  "That's what you get for being nosy, bastard!" he snapped when Tsuzuki began to squeal unnecessarily.

"Aw, but Hisoka~~!" Tsuzuki whined, apparently over it.  "Pay attention to me!  Honestly, you act like you like the damned journal more than me!"

"At least the 'damned journal' isn't annoying and prying!" Hisoka spat out, again, harsher than he intended…but there was just something about the strange new feeling Tsuzuki was giving off.

Tsuzuki, suddenly serious, turned his head a little, apparently avoiding Hisoka's gaze by looking out to somewhere.  "I'm not…_that_ annoying…am I?"  He turned back to look his partner right in the eye.

All he could see was sincerity, hope, and worry.  "…Er," the younger one muttered, "you're not…_that_ annoying."  He didn't know why, but that had been harder to get out than it should have been and this time, it was Hisoka's turn to avoid Tsuzuki's gaze.

[**Smile as you become reborn and paint your whole body**

**See the world suddenly burning up miraculously as we met by chance**]

"Yay!" Tsuzuki squealed happily, his mood greatly lifted.  "That means you'll go to the Kyoto National Museum with me!"

"The…Kyoto…National Museum…?  I…I really didn't think you'd be all that interested in it, Tsuzuki…" Hisoka muttered softly, looking somewhat perplexed.

"Well, actually, I'm not…but I know you like that sort of stuff, so let's go!" he admitted.

"…How did you know I liked museums?"

Tsuzuki's face fell.  "You mean…you don't want to go?"

"No, no!  I do!" Hisoka said animatedly.  "But…I didn't really think that…."

"…What….  You don't think I know anything about you, Hisoka?" the elder Shinigami asked, disappointed.

"Well…not really."

"Okay, I admit," Tsuzuki said honestly, "I may not know _everything_, but I do know _some_ stuff about you, 'Soka-chan.  First off, it kind of annoys you when I call say 'Soka-chan, but I do it just because it sounds kind of cute for you.  Secondly, I know you like those artsy cultural type of things that I personally find a little boring if there's nothing there to eat.  You like to read…a LOT.  Um…you get annoyed when I slack off and you get annoyed when I drink too much.  Uhh…let's see…."

"…I think you've made your point," Hisoka said quietly, staring at the ground with a slight redness to his cheeks.

"'Soka-chan…?  Are you…blushing?" Tsuzuki asked nosily, leaning _real_ close to his partner.

Hisoka snapped his head up in a response – their noses touched.  "No!  I'm not blushing at all!"

Tsuzuki smirked.  "You also hate it when I call attention to you."  With that said, his expression suddenly grew serious, but still retained its warmth with an odd little smile.  "You know…you should blush more often, Hisoka."

"I…should…?" he muttered, lost for words as he sensed Tsuzuki's every emotion.  That new, annoying one particularly abundant.

"Yeah…you look really cute."

And that was when Hisoka fainted.

[**(Hold me gently as I break down)**]

====================

End of Part 1

So…how is it so far?  Pleeeeeeeeeease tell me!  Oh…right!  The Japanese lyrics!

_tooku de me o hikarasete  mezameru monotachi matte iru_

_yoru no jouheki  sasowarete  utsurisumu mure no nukegara ni_

_(deguchi no nai)  shougeki ni taeru tsumori nara_

_(kuzureru hodo)  itsuwari o misete_

_umarekawareru anata yo  hitori hohoemanaide  hitomi o irodoru_

_nozonda sekai ga totsuzen  hai ni natte mo  kiseki ni mada  meguriaeru_

(sotto dakishimete  kowasu you ni)

Yeah it's a great song…go…download it or something….  Better yet, buy the Gravitation TV soundtrack…yeah… (so I don't get sued for telling you to go download it ^^;;)

====================


	2. Part 2 (Watari)

Title: Sleepless Beauty (Part 2 of 4)

Author: Elf Asato

Pairings: Eventual Tsuzuki/Hisoka, implied Watari

Warnings: Shounen-ai (obviously), language, angst, OOC?

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Sadly, Yami no Matsuei doesn't belong to me…aaa…what a world.  The song _Sleepless Beauty_ is off Gravitation, so that doesn't belong to me, either! ;.;

Notes: Aa…I usually don't really like to swear, but I fear it would be so un-YnM-like…the troubles of being a writer…  

Song fic to Sleepless Beauty from Gravitation.  Hn, it's just various lyrics everywhere… ^_^ I suppose it sucks to have the song drawn out in three parts!  Regarding the lyrics…I'm going to have just the English translation in the story, but at the end of each part I'll have the Japanese lyrics used in that part.  Confusing, I'm sorry….

_Italics_ is Hisoka's journal.  [**Lyrics**] Obvious….

Part 1 is Hisoka's part.  Part 2 is Watari's part , 3 Tsuzuki, and part 4 will most likely be short and Tatsumi's.  I got to thinking…and I really want to write a sequel!  You can't stop me!  Ha ha!  But Tatsumi's part will set up for it and to make up for his lack of parts, the **entire** sequel is going to be his!  …Probably.  I may change it…like I changed it to 4 parts….

This part is more than twice the length of Hisoka's part….  Guess I can't write when he's passed out, ne?

====================

Sleepless Beauty

By Elf Asato

====================

[**I see you haven't changed at all; the petals scatter from the flower**

**Polish the gem in your hand everyday so it will build up and start over**]

Watari should have been expecting the Inu-Tsuzuki to tackle him as soon as he stepped foot out of the infirmary where Hisoka slept.

"WATARI!!!!!!" Inu-Tsuzuki squealed.  "Is he okay, is he alright?  Will he get better???????"

It was all he could do to keep from laughing outright at Tsuzuki's cuteness and incredible concern for his partner.  "Yes, Tsuzuki, Hisoka's fine.  He's a little worn out, though.  He should be up and moving in a couple of hours."

"That's good to hear," Tatsumi muttered.  "I can't tell you how much of a pain it was to keep Tsuzuki calm…."

Watari laughed while Inu-Tsuzuki scowled.  "I was really worried!"

"…There's not anything wrong with Kurosaki, is there?" Tatsumi asked out of curiosity – and Watari knew it would satisfy Tsuzuki's worry.

"Nah, of course not!" he smiled.  "Just too many emotions, I suppose.  He'll be fine, so don't worry."  This was directed mainly at the incredibly cute puppy with huge, googly, wet eyes.

It had an adverse effect than what Watari and Tatsumi had hoped.

Inu-Tsuzuki started _bawling_.  "IT'S ALL MY FAULT!!!!!!  I SHOULDN'T HAVE TAKEN HIM TO KYOTO!!!!!!!  IN PUBLIC!  I'M SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!  DON'T HATE ME, HISOKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Tatsumi twitched mildly while Watari erupted into full-blown laughter.

"…Why are you laughing?" Tatsumi muttered quietly.

Watari reached down to pat Inu-Tsuzuki's head as his laughter subsided.  "Ah, I'm sorry!  It's just that you're so cute!"

"Watari!" he squealed (no longer Inu…just…incredibly genki) and glomped the said Shinigami.  Then the sad puppy eyes returned.  "But…Hisoka…he probably hates me now!"

Smiling reassuringly, the scientist said, "No, he probably doesn't hate you.  You couldn't have known that being out there would be too much.  In fact, he's probably very grateful for the sleep.  You _know_ Bon doesn't seem like he gets enough sleep.  You know, he's probably very happy right now.  Hey, he'll probably be awake in a couple of hours or so.  In the meantime, why don't you go down to earth and get him a present or something?"  With this, he fished around in his lab coat pocket for yen – giving whatever he could find to Tsuzuki.

Tsuzuki lit up.  "Sankyuu Watari!!!!!!!!!!" he squealed gleefully and bounded away.

"…You have a knack for cheering him up," Tatsumi remarked as soon as the aforementioned was out of sight.

The blond Shinigami shrugged.  "I try my best."

"…So Kurosaki is actually alright?"

"Yep!" Watari replied cheerfully.  "No sign of anything suspicious.  It just seems he took in too many emotions.  He's fine."

Tatsumi gave the scientist a long stare.

"…What?"

"Kurosaki has gotten used to public places for the most part.  It doesn't seem right that he just up and fainted because of that."

Watari gave one of his thoughtful gazes and muttered, "…He hasn't had an episode in a while…Bon was probably due for one anyway…."

"…Watari…."

Completely ignoring him, he said cheerfully as he bounded away similar to Tsuzuki, "Well, 003 and I have a lot of work to do.  If Bon happens to wake up, please come get me!"

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Watari had been grateful that he had stopped by and was the first one to see Hisoka awake.  "Hey Bon.  Feel alright?"

Hisoka looked around the room and muttered, "…Yeah….  Just tired."

"Aa, well it's expected," he smiled.  "…It sucks that you fainted on your day off, ne?"

Staring at him blankly, Hisoka replied, "I'm just glad that we weren't on an assignment."

"True, true," Watari mused.  "So…is anything wrong?"

"…What do you mean?" the younger one asked.  "I'm almost positive it was just because I took in too many emotions…if that is what you mean."

Watari just stared thoughtfully at the wall.  "No…I mean…are things going well between you and Tsuzuki?"

That comment put Hisoka on guard.  "…Yeah…why?"

Giving just a smile, Watari offered, "You know…if you ever feel like you need to talk to someone, you know where I am."

"W-what?!"

"I mean it," he continued.  "Just come to me if you need to talk.  We don't even have to talk about what's bothering you…we could talk about the weather…work…whatever you want."

"I…I don't know what the hell what you're talking about!  There's nothing bothering me!" Hisoka exclaimed, obviously defensive.

"Oh, I never said that there was," Watari replied smoothly.  "I was just saying that if you ever _did_ need to talk, you know where I am."

"…That's…if I ever need to talk?"

"Yep," he replied cheerfully.

"…Not that I do need to talk, mind you…."

"Oh of course not.  Just thought I'd offer."

"…Oh…alright…."

"**HISOKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**"

It was obvious to everyone that Tsuzuki was back, bearing gifts for Hisoka.  As the newly-turned-Inu-Tsuzuki bubbled on and on about how sorry he was, and as Hisoka seemed to blush at every word and movement the inu made, Watari couldn't help but smile inside and out.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

"Naa...Watari?" Hisoka breathed softly, as if not to disturb the wonderfully chaotic balance of the scientist's lab hours later.

003 gave a small hoot as Watari replied enthusiastically without looking up, "Bon!  What brings you here?"  He hadn't expected a visit from the pair so soon…and he figured it would take a nuclear war for Hisoka to let down his defenses and come to Watari to talk….  Quickly he glanced up from his beloved experiment and his eyebrows furrowed slightly.  "Tsuzuki's not with you?"

"Nn...no," Hisoka responded, barely above a whisper.  "I...ah...I came alone, Watari."

"Oh," 003 and Watari hooted in unison. {A/N: Weird ^^;;}

Deciding that Bon was obviously more important, Watari set his experiment aside and motioned for Hisoka to sit down in a little chair.  He leaned up against a counter and asked, "So, what can I do for you?"

"...You know how you said I could come to you if I needed to talk...?" Hisoka began as Watari's expression grew shocked.  With the boy's pride, he hadn't expected him to _actually _**come** to him.

"Yes."

"Well...I...I need your help, Watari."

The scientist's mouth gaped open.  "...You...actually....?"

Hisoka gave him _that look_ that said not to push it.  "...Yeah....  Look...I fainted because I was overwhelmed by Tsuzuki's emotions.  Since then, I've been trying to sort them out...but they're so confusing.  So unfamiliar."

"It's alright....  I'll help you," Watari smiled warmly.  He had offered, but never dreamed that the boy would let down his defenses and share himself with him.

Hisoka said nothing and stared off, trying to gather the remnants of Tsuzuki's emotions.  With great reluctance, he began, "…I suppose it's a great amount of respect…and this genuine warmth.  It's…it's not often he lets me get the majority of his feelings…."

"…Perhaps he wanted you to know them?" Watari suggested patiently.  003 just perched on his shoulder, like always.

"…Maybe…but I just…" Hisoka muttered.  "There's something really bothering me, though…."

"Oh?"

Hisoka sighed and looked the other way.  

Watari took as if what he was about to say was painful.  And that was quite all right.

"His…his feelings….  I…I remember my father sharing them.  Though Tsuzuki's is more intense…deeper…it's still just the same.  They felt the same way," Hisoka choked.

The scientist stared at the boy sympathetically for a while, but then erupted into a smile.  "But those feelings…do they feel good?"

"Hell no," Hisoka spat out, as if he was disgusted at Watari's question.

"…No…I'm not asking how you feel when you're reminded of them…but think, Bon.  Are they good?" Watari asked seriously, his voice a low whisper.  "I want you to actually take time to think about this."

Several minutes passed in silence before Hisoka muttered, "…In…a strange sense, yes…."

Watari's smile returned.  "I think I know what Tsuzuki feels for you."

"Eh?"

"Unconditional love."

"WHAT???" Hisoka shrieked.

Watari's smile grew wider.  "Yep!  The feeling.  It's warm isn't it?  It makes you feel safe and cared for.  Content, ne?"

"Y-yes…with…Tsuzuki yes…but…that's not how my father…that's…that's not how that bastard felt!" the young Shinigami spat out.

"It's likely that he put up a shield after he found out you were an empath.  You were probably too busy hating him to notice," he said with a smug smile.

"I…I was not!  I would have known!" Hisoka yelled, his face red.

Watari shrugged.  "Your abilities weren't as finely tuned as they are know.  It could have gone unnoticed.  You know…just because you can feel others' emotions…doesn't mean you can feel ALL their emotions, ne?"

Hisoka's shoulders slumped and Watari took it as if he knew he was right.

"Unconditional love is probably what your father felt for you and Tsuzuki, too…though…" he said with a funny smirk, "I think Tsuzuki's is a bit different…."

"…Eh?  How so?" Hisoka asked curiously.

"It's more intense…it's deeper….  It's not the unconditional love that a parent feels for a child….  It's like, not to scare you…what a couple feels when they're truly in love.  That sort of thing…on an intimate level, I suppose," Watari said gently, wondering if he should have said it at all.

Hisoka's mouth gaped open.

"Aa, but you shouldn't trust me!  Go ask Tsuzuki yourself!" Watari said quickly, laughing nervously.

The beautiful green eyes that fell on the scientist looked at him strangely.  "…Have you ever felt that way, Watari?"

The Shinigami just stared at a random spot on the floor while 003 hooted softly.  "…This isn't about me.  It's about you and Tsuzuki…but…yes.  I suppose I _have_ felt that way…."  Watari's normal smile returned and he said warmly, "Feel better?"

Hisoka eyed him a little before muttering, "I suppose."

"Good!" Watari chirped.  "I have a lot of work to do…but you can come back any time if you want!"

"Oh…okay," Hisoka agreed softly as he was led to the door.  Turning to face the scientist, he said edgily, "…This conversation never happened.  I was never here."

"Bon!  How good of you to see me!  You haven't stopped by in a while!" Watari smiled animatedly.

Hisoka almost smiled.  Almost.

[**(Your cold hand) because of thorns shed through weariness**

**(A doused flame) the smoke carries on**]

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Yet again it was a few hours later when Watari came across Tatsumi comforting Inu-Tsuzuki in Kachou's office.

"He HATES me!" Tsuzuki sobbed into Tatsumi's chest.  Neither of them noticed Watari and 003 standing in the doorway.

"…Tsuzuki, why do you think he hates you?" Tatsumi asked gently.

"'Cause…'cause…he won't talk to me…and…and…he's avoiding me…and…and…" Inu-Tsuzuki choked before he broke off into a sob.

Tatsumi pet the inu's head, not really knowing what to say.

"He's just tired, that's all.  You _know_ Bon doesn't like to talk to anyone when he's not feeling good.  He's just had a rough day," Watari reassured cheerfully.

"AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT!  HE HATES ME!!!!!!" Inu-Tsuzuki sobbed even more.

Tatsumi twitched.

"Bon doesn't think so," Watari said calmly.

"He…he doesn't?" 

"Nope!" Watari said cheerfully.  "He's just really tired from fainting, but he doesn't think that any of it is your fault.  He's not even mad."

"…He's not?"

"Nope!"

"YAY!!!!!!!" the little inu squealed as he flung himself onto Watari, who just laughed.  "I mean, I don't think he really liked the chocolate cake I brought for him, but I'm glad he's not mad!!"

Watari laughed some more before Tatsumi brushed past him.  "I've got work to do now, Tsuzuki, so I'll leave you with Watari."

"Okay!" Tsuzuki (no longer inu ;.;) chirped, seeing Tatsumi out.  He turned back to Watari with a smile, but it fell quickly as he looked past him.  "…Hisoka's journal…he must have left it."

"Hisoka's journal?" Watari asked.  003 hooted.

"…Yeah…" Tsuzuki said softly as he walked hesitantly past the other Shinigami and picked up the said object.  "Kachou was talking to him about being all right and…I remember he had it with him.  He forgot it….  I have to take it back to him!"  He paused and continued staring at the journal.  "…But…I wonder what he's written…."

Watari took the journal from Tsuzuki's hands.  "Tsuzuki, if Hisoka finds out you've been reading his journal, he really WILL get mad at you."

Tsuzuki's eyes widened.  "Yeah, he will!  …Watari, can you stay here with it?  I'm going to get Hisoka.  I don't want to be tempted…is that all right?"

Watari smiled.  "Yeah, that's fine!"

"Thanks!" Tsuzuki said as he rushed off.

There was silence in the room as Watari stared at the journal.  Carefully he opened it.

003 hooted disapprovingly.

"…Yes, I know, but I don't need to hear it from you," Watari muttered as he looked at the pages.  There were only three entries, he noticed.  Two were written before Hisoka fainted and one after.  Quickly skimming over the two, be began to read the third.

003 hooted again.

"…It's for his own good," Watari justified to the owl.  He thought he was probably the only one who understood what 003 said.  Nevertheless, he continued on.

_(same day, hours later)_

_…I've written in this so much today, but it's kind of sad how I'll just eventually forget about it.  It's nice to let my thoughts out sometimes, though…_

_I actually fainted in Kyoto from Tsuzuki's emotions.  Apparently, he thinks I'm mad at him or something, but I'm not.  He also thinks I didn't like the present he gave to me after I woke up – a chocolate cake.  True, I didn't want to eat it, but I **did** appreciate it._

_That was after Watari came to see me.  It was kind of odd…he just…offered to talk to me if I needed it.  Normally I wouldn't have under **any** circumstances…but there was just something about the gentleness in his voice.  His genuine desire to help me._

_Also the fact that I was **really** confused trying to sort out Tsuzuki's emotions._

_…So I actually did take Watari up on his offer.  I always thought he was more scatterbrained than Tsuzuki…but he's actually got it all together, it seems.  The more I think about what he said, the more I realize that it's true._

_And the more everything scares me._

_He told me that what I felt from Tsuzuki was unconditional love…on an intimate level.  It reminded me of what I felt from my father…but Watari reassured me that it **was** unconditional love…but between a parent and a child.  I suppose he would know.  I assume he had a semi-normal childhood, unlike me.  I also suppose he would know about the unconditional love on an intimate level…because he told me he felt it himself._

_I hate to admit it, but I guess I can trust him._

_There was something odd, though.  Usually the feelings I get from Watari are very simple and familiar.  Curiosity, familiarity, excitement, happiness…discouragement.  Fairly simple emotions compared to, say, Tsuzuki or Tatsumi.  I just can't feel anything from Tatsumi…and I know he's hiding it.  …But I'm not talking about him…_

_…When I asked Watari…if he ever felt **that** sort of unconditional love…I felt something weird.  It wasn't what I usually feel from him.  I felt a multiple of things…  But foremost was a slight…pang.  Along with it were things I had never felt from him before…  It was a mixture of pleasant and unpleasant emotions.  It occurs to me that Watari has a natural wall.  I never thought that he would **need** to have a wall.  I always assumed that his emotions were fairly simple.  It's not like Tsuzuki…or Tatsumi for whatever reason he has.  I'm sure there is one, though._

_It was just odd.  Like I was enlightened._

_Just odd…but it makes me feel I can trust him all the more…_

_Weird._

_Kachou wants to talk to me about my fainting…if I'm okay…ugh…I don't really want to talk to anyone.  I'm just content to sit here and think…but that's all right.  Sometimes we do things we don't want to – but we have to._

_I feel better about Tsuzuki, though._

003 hooted.

"Dammit, don't give me that, 003.  You were reading over my shoulder," Watari smirked, but there was no light in his eyes.

There was a soft hooting again as Watari closed the journal.

"…I don't suppose I really meant for him to feel that.  I wonder how long it'll take him to sort it out…."

003 ruffled her feathers and hooted again, this time at Hisoka's arrival.

"…I…left my journal here," he muttered.  "…Tsuzuki told me."

Watari smiled as he handed it over.  "Yes, he left it with me.  Seemed to think he'd be too tempted to look at it if he had it with him."

"…Yeah…that's…that's…" Hisoka trailed off as a confused gaze turned into a glare.  "Tsuzuki."

He kept smiling and nodded goodbye as he strode quickly out of the office.  Though he smiled, it never reached his eyes.

[**Now tell me where the light is, sketch it as it dances vividly**

**Guided words overflow and come out in times of fear**]

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

It was the following day and Watari knew Kachou and Tatsumi felt bad about sending Hisoka and Tsuzuki on the field, but after it the entire office was sending them on an overdue two-week vacation after everything that happened in Kyoto (not the fainting – the other thing).

"Kurosaki, Tsuzuki, I've got good and bad news.  Please sit down," Kachou said as a greeting when they walked into his office.

Obediently, they did so.

"Bad news first," Kachou began.  "You have a field assignment.  It's nothing major at all, though.  A woman died of cancer, but her soul isn't anywhere to be found.  We just want you to find out where it is, that's all.  You don't have to do anything more, because after that…and this is the good news, we're sending you two on a two-week vacation."

"All expenses paid?" Tsuzuki asked hopefully.

Tatsumi smiled.  "Yes, all expenses paid, and we're giving you extra spending money, too."

"YAY!!!!!!" Tsuzuki squealed as he hugged everyone in the room.  When he hugged Hisoka, a blush rose from his gloomy face.

"Ahem," Kachou cleared his throat.  "There's still the matter of the investigation.  Watari?"

As Watari stood up from his chair, Hisoka absolutely _glared_ at him.  "…I honestly think that there's no foul play in this, but since her soul is missing, we thought it would be a good idea for you two to check it out.  Stop by in my lab in a few hours and I should have all the information ready for you."

"…There's no rush?" Tatsumi muttered.

"No, none at all.  I don't think that anyone's endangered or anything…so no, there's really no rush," Watari smiled, stressing his point of no rush.

"And why didn't you have the information ready for the staff meeting?" Kachou asked tensely.  Watari could _clearly_ see the vein popping out of his forehead.

…And to this, Watari really had no answer.  The remainder of the night, he hadn't done a thing…just…thought things over.  "Well…um…you see…" he muttered, growing red naturally, but trying to look sheepish on purpose.  "There was one vial of liquid…and then there was another…and you know, one thing led to another and…."

"Not those damned experiments of yours again!" Kachou seethed.

"Eheh…yep," Watari laughed nervously as 003 hooted, attaining full sheepishness.

"Dammit, Watari, if you don't have the information because of your damned experiments _one more time_, then I'm sending Tsuzuki out to blow up your lab!" Kachou threatened.

"Goodness knows it's the only thing he _can_ do," Tatsumi smirked at Tsuzuki's put out expression.

Watari laughed nervously.  "Duly noted.  So…ah, I'll just get to work on that and you two can stop by my lab a little later."

"Okay!" Tsuzuki chirped as he hopped up.  "Ah, I'm tired…."

"Then go sleep," Hisoka muttered, continuing to glare at Watari.

"Will you come with me, 'Soka-chan?" Tsuzuki said with the kicked puppy expression.

"Hell no!" Hisoka said, more defensively than Watari imagined.

"Meanie," Tsuzuki smiled as he bounded away.

Hisoka gave a quick glare to Watari again and sulked out of Kachou's office.

Watari went to leave, fully intending to work on the information, when 003 hooted.  Of course he knew what she said.

"…I know Bon's angry with me for reading his journal…."

She hooted again.

"How does he know?" he asked, repeating her question (only translated).  Watari looked away from 003 and stared at the wall.  "Because I let him."

003 let out another soft hoot.  Watari ignored this and stepped a few feet before Tatsumi stopped him.

"…Watari…."

Watari spun around, a bit startled.  "Naaaaaaa, Tatsumi!"

"…What's wrong?" Tatsumi asked abruptly.

Dammit, that man really had a knack for seeing through things, Watari mused.  However…it wasn't anything he was willing to share.  "…Hmm…well let's see…uh…nothing seems to be wrong at the time, other than getting yelled at by Kachou, of course."

"Liar," Tatsumi breathed.

Watari just gave a soft, but small smile.

"I could see through your lie to Kachou.  In fact, he'd be absolutely furious to know that you lied to him…but I'm not going to tell him."

"Then you should probably keep your voice a little down, ne?  We _are_ outside his office after all," Watari smiled nervously.

"…It's not any of my business to know what you were actually doing.  I just want to know what's wrong because I _know_ there _is_ something," Tatsumi said sternly.

Watari put on a bright, but incredibly fake smile.  "Oh of _course_ there's something, but nothing I'll tell _you_, dear Tatsumi-san."

To Watari's relief, Tatsumi wasn't mad at this.  He just…shook his head sadly.  "…I don't understand you, Watari."

The scientist kept up his bright smile.  "Well, there's nothing _to_ understand.  I have work to do, ja ne!"  He bounded away with that bright smile on his face, but it didn't reach his eyes.

Nothing did.

[**(Cry for a way out)**

**(It crumbles down)**]

====================

End of Part 2

So how do you like it so far?  O.O  I don't think I've **ever** gotten a part out so fast!  Oo…but I **really** like writing this!  Especially Watari ^_^

Hope you enjoy!  And…as always, questions, comments, concerns, and suggestions ALWAYS welcome!  I wanna know what you think!  Thank you!

The lyrics!

_muku na mama de sarasarete  hanabira o chirasu hana no you ni_

_migaku houseki  te no naka no  HIBI ni sae kizukihajimeteru_

_(tsumetai te ga)  nukeochita toge o hirou kara_

_(madoromu hi ga)  kusuburitsuzukeru_

_ima mo todokanu hikari no yukue  azayaka ni mau  omoi o egakou_

_michibiku kotoba ga koborete shimawanu you ni  utsuru toki o  osorenaide_

_(deguchi mo naku)_

_(kuzureochiru)_


	3. Part 3 (Tsuzuki)

Title: Sleepless Beauty (Part 3 of 4)

Author: Elf Asato

Pairings: Eventual Tsuzuki/Hisoka, Watari (uh…yeah…Watari's just in there)

Warnings: Shounen-ai (obviously), language, very mild Watari angst, aggravating last scene

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Sadly, Yami no Matsuei doesn't belong to me…aaa…what a world.  The song _Sleepless Beauty_ is off Gravitation, so that doesn't belong to me, either! ;.;  I'm pretty sure that Hontani Mika and Toshiaki Seichi _do_ belong to me.  You may use them if you want to, but email me first…though…why _would_ you want to use them…?

Notes: Song fic to Sleepless Beauty from Gravitation.  Hn, it's just various lyrics everywhere… ^_^  I suppose it sucks to have the song drawn out in three parts!  Regarding the lyrics…I'm going to have just the English translation in the story, but at the end of each part I'll have the Japanese lyrics used in that part.  Confusing, I'm sorry….  I also didn't space them very well throughout the story!  *sobs*

_Italics_ are indicating Tsuzuki's dream…and Hisoka's journal when appropriate.  **_This_** indicates also a part of Tsuzuki's dream…only…not him.  ^^;;  [**Lyrics**] Obvious….

Part 1 was Hisoka (short as it was ^^;;), 2 Watari (long!), 3 is Tsuzuki's, and 4 Tatsumi's!  And yes, there WILL be a sequel!  *sniff* I can't believe I'm almost DONE with this!!!!  But…that brings me closer to the sequel!  Yay!

Sorry if this part's a little weird…I've been listening to all these songs with headphones on…and…I think it disrupts the brain more than just listening from the computer or stereo…hee hee.  ^^;;  Oh…and…their assignment is lame.  Forgive me, but this fic isn't _about_ that!  …Actually, I have no idea what it's about, but it's not that!

…Fanart would be cool…just…so everyone knows…hehe.  *innocent look*

Oh yeah!  (God, these notes keep on going!) This part is _long_.  Longer than Watari's.  *sniff*  Some characters have more to say than others….

====================

Sleepless Beauty

By Elf Asato

====================

_**Asato!  Hurry up!  We'll be late for the party!**_

_…What party?_

_**The party we were supposed to go to!  Honestly, baka, can't you remember anything?**_

_Wait…who are you?_

_**Honestly, baka!**_

_…Hisoka?_

_**Come on!  We're going to be late!  You don't want to be the last one there, do you?**_

_No, of course not!  …But…what party, Hisoka?_

_**If you don't hurry, they'll run out of sweets!**_

_No!  Wait, I'm coming, Hisoka! _

_**I'm leaving…**_

_Hisoka!  Don't leave without me!_

_**Asato, it's your fault for being so slow.  Do you or do you not want to arrive at the party on time?  Such an indecisive baka.**_

_I do!  I want to go!  I'm coming!  Please wait for me, Hisoka!_

_**I can't wait for you.  You don't know what you want.**_

_Nani…?  …But…I want to go to the party!_

_**No you don't.  If you wanted to go, you would have been there already.**_

_But I do!_

_**No…you don't.  You don't care enough.**_

_But I do care, Hisoka!  I want to be there with you!_

_**You don't want to be with me.  You just want to go because of the sweets.**_

_No!  If you go, I'll go!  If you don't go, then I won't!_

_**Such an indecisive man.**_

_I just want to be with you, Hisoka._

_**…Then come along…baka…**_

[**Smile as you become reborn and paint your whole body**]

"BAKA!"

"Gyaaa!" Tsuzuki screeched and fell out of his seat, his whole world reduced to the delicate fist that pounded his desk.

"Do you know how long you've been asleep???"

"Hi…Hisoka?" Tsuzuki stammered, the angry green eyes finally registering to him.

"Tsch…" Hisoka scoffed.  "We're late anyway, might as well not go.  No thanks to _you_, baka!"

Tsuzuki stood upright and clenched Hisoka's hand, stating passionately, "No!  We can still go to the party!  I care!  The sweets don't matter!  As long as you're there, Hisoka, I'll be there with you!"

"What the f…"

"…Hisoka?" Tsuzuki said cutely, cocking his head with curiosity.

"…What are you talking about?  D…you don't even _remember_ our plans with Watari, do you?!  BAKA!" the ticked off Hisoka roared.

"P-plans with Watari?" Tsuzuki asked in a small voice.

Hisoka sighed.  "Yes, since he missed giving us information about the assignment this morning, we were supposed to drop by a few hours later.  Watari's been ready with the information for about thirty minutes…."

"…Then…why didn't you wake me up thirty minutes ago?" Tsuzuki asked curiously, intrigued by the pissed off expression Hisoka had.

The green eyed Shinigami stammered for a while before screaming, "**Shut up**!  Come on, let's go!  **Now**!"

Tsuzuki twitched.  "'Soka-chan's weird today," he muttered.

"What?" Hisoka snapped.

"Watari's waiti~~~~~~~~~~~ng!!!!!" Tsuzuki cried out as he dragged his partner out of the office.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

"I mean, I know I keep stressing that there's no foul play involved in this case, but that's what I honestly believe," Watari explained after handing the two a packet full of information he had gathered.  "It should be an easy – and then you'll get to go on your vacation!  Isn't that great?"

"Great…sure…" Hisoka muttered absentmindedly as he went through the information in the packet.

"Aw come on, 'Soka-chan!  You're so gloomy right now…try to have a little 'pre-vacation' fun!" Tsuzuki said cheerfully as he looked over his partner's shoulder.

"Get away, you're overflowing with happiness," Hisoka snapped.  "And shut up, I'm trying to concentrate."

Tsuzuki pouted, "But you need some happiness right now, 'Soka-chan!  You're so gloomy…."

"I said shut up," Hisoka said irritably.

"He's such a meanie," Tsuzuki complained playfully to Watari.

Watari just gave a sympathetic smile…only it wasn't a smile.

"What the hell?" the elder Shinigami asked aloud.

"I said shut up," Hisoka repeated.

"… Tsuzuki, maybe we should go somewhere else and let Bon concentrate," Watari stated more than suggested.

"Uh…yeah…" Tsuzuki said as he stood up from his seat.

"I have a little storage room in the back, come on," Watari said as Tsuzuki followed him.  003 stayed behind.

Once in the said room, Tsuzuki leaned against the closed door and stated, "You mean by no foul play…that there's no sign of Muraki…?"  He winced involuntarily at the sound of the man's name, though he had said it himself.  Though weeks ago, it was still too soon.

Watari broke into a nervous laughter.  "Yeah, that's what I was hinting at.  I didn't want to come out and directly say it, though."

Tsuzuki smiled, "I understand!" but the smile dimmed.  "Then…why is Hisoka so crabby today?"

Giving another one of his thoughtful looks, Watari stared up at the ceiling.  Finally he admitted, "Bon's mad at me.  Mad's an understatement.  He's quite…_livid_ with me…."

"_What_?  You're the one he's so pissed off at???" Tsuzuki asked in disbelief.  "_God_, Watari, what did you _do_?  …Not that it's too hard to piss him off…but…_you_?"

Watari just shrugged and gazed at Tsuzuki, saying with a sad little smile, "Trust me.  This'll turn out for the best."

"…For who…?" he asked seriously.

The other Shinigami just stared blankly back at the ceiling.  After a while, he remarked, "You sound just like Tatsumi, you know that?"

"You're being evasive."

"Maybe I am."

Tsuzuki stared at Watari for a few seconds before muttering his name in a low whisper.

Another fake smile.  Tsuzuki was sick of them – the entire time the information about the case was explained, that's all Watari gave.  Fake smiles.  "Rather than waste time talking to me, shouldn't you be getting on with your assignment?  After that you have two whole weeks of vacation.  Aren't you looking forward to that?"

Giving a lingering last look, Tsuzuki turned and put his hand on the doorknob, turning.

"…Tsuzuki?" Watari asked.

Tsuzuki's hand slid off the doorknob as he turned around again.

"…What do you feel for Bon?"

"I don't know what you mean," Tsuzuki answered quickly, avoiding Watari's curious gaze in the process.  He hated lying, though – he knew exactly what Watari was talking about…he had been thinking the same thing for weeks.

"Liar," Watari stated simply, without accusation.

"Yeah, and what about you?"

"We're not talking about me.  I asked you," Watari reminded, keeping that curiousness firm in his eyes.  That was the only thing there.  Though, the more Tsuzuki looked, the more he was uncertain that _that_ wasn't even there.

There was silence between the two before Tsuzuki finally admitted, "I don't know."

"You…don't know?"

"I don't know," Tsuzuki repeated.

"…Do you mean…that you're unsure of what to call it?" Watari asked cautiously.

"I guess," he shrugged.

"That feeling…" the scientist began, a true smile forming, "is it warm…comforting?  Like you're safe from anything when you're with him and you just want to remain that way for the rest of your life?"

Watari's words hit a nerve and pinned all Tsuzuki's feelings for his partner on the spot.  "…Yes…exactly," he breathed softly.

The other man broke out into a genuine smile, but the thing that confused Tsuzuki was that his eyes were still sad.  "That's…good…."

"…Watari…?"

The said Shinigami laughed nervously and stated, "Okay, I've kept you long enough.  Go out and work on your case – I don't want to see you until your two-week vacation is up."

Though Tsuzuki laughed along with him and agreed, he couldn't help but feel that Watari wasn't joking.

[**See the world suddenly burning up miraculously as we met by chance**]

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

"The woman's name was Hontani Mika, age 32.  She was diagnosed with skin cancer – melanoma – around seven years ago…but as a result, she died.  _Why_ her soul hasn't moved on is beyond me…but I guess that's what we're trying to figure out," Hisoka explained after Tsuzuki absolutely **refused** to read that _entire_ packet Watari gave them.

"Weird," Tsuzuki remarked as they sat at a little table, looking at a photo of her included in the packet.  "She looks so frail…."

"She spent her entire childhood in the sun, so that along with her fair skin probably caused her skin cancer….  I'm not too sure, but I guess that's not important.  Having cancer, she _must_ have known she was going to die…" Hisoka muttered, though Tsuzuki had the feeling his mind wasn't _entirely_ on the case.

"Yeah, probably," he yawned, looking around at the relatively inexpensive motel room Tatsumi reserved for them.  "Hey, you think Tatsumi actually got us a nice hotel for our vacation?"

Hisoka sighed and buried his head in his hands.  "It's obvious we're not going to get any work done tonight…."

"Yay!  …But I _promise_, Hisoka, that I will have my **complete** attention on the case tomorrow.  Why, we can even talk to her family members to see if there was any reason she might have held on!"

Sighing again, Hisoka looked up.  "We can't do that."

"…Why not?"

"…Mika had no surviving family members.  Her parents died when she was little and she had no siblings.  As for her other relatives, they're unknown."

"Damn," Tsuzuki muttered.  "I guess we'll have to check the hospital she died in…find stuff there…."

"Yeah…but…that's tomorrow," Hisoka said softly, putting his head back in his hands.

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes before Tsuzuki remarked, "I know it's not just me who can't concentrate.  What are you thinking of, Hisoka?"

"I…I'm trying to sort some things out," he admitted, his voice soft.  It seemed to Tsuzuki like he was concentrating or something.

"…Like your life, or what?"

"No," the younger Shinigami muttered, shaking his head.  "I mean…someone's emotions.  That sort of thing."

"Oh," he said simply.  "Who's?"

"Shh," Hisoka hissed conveniently, then he added, "get me my journal, will you?  It's in my bag."

"You're going to write in it _again_?" Tsuzuki complained as he fished around in his partner's bag as asked.

"Differently, this time," Hisoka promised as Tsuzuki handed him the journal.  Turning to a blank page, he muttered, "Pen?"

"Sure!" the elder Shinigami chirped, very interested in what Hisoka had to write.  He searched for a pen in the room's desk and brought it to his partner.  "What are you going to write?"

"…Put up all your shields…this is driving me absolutely nuts and I can't focus with your emotions bouncing everywhere," Hisoka muttered.  As soon as he felt his partner's warm emotions recede, he put the pen to the paper and concentrated.

_Sadness._

"Eh?"

"Shh!"

_Discouragement._

_Jealousy._

_Contentment._

_Warmth._

_Possessiveness._

_Respect._

_Anger._

_Curiosity._

_Irritability._

"Hisoka…?  What's…" Tsuzuki began, looking over the list of words.

Rubbing his face and staring at the page, Hisoka sighed.  "It doesn't make sense…there are so many contradictions…."

"Oh come on, tell me!" Tsuzuki begged, flopping on the floor, suddenly inu.

_Guilt._

_Rejection._

_Happiness._

_Uncondi_

Hisoka's fingertips flew to his lips and his cheeks turned pink.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?" Inu-Tsuzuki whined, demanding to know what got _that_ reaction out of his partner.

"I think I know what's up with Watari," Hisoka muttered, closing his journal and going over to put it back in his bag.

"And?" Inu-Tsuzuki asked with excitement.

Deliberately ignoring the question, Hisoka suggested, "How about dinner?"

"Dinner!!!!!!  …D-dessert, too?"

"Why not?" Hisoka shrugged.

Inu-Tsuzuki squealed and ran laps of joy around the room.  Halfway through this, he stopped being inu and ran up to hug Hisoka, making him blush heavily…but that's beside the point.

Tsuzuki knew that Hisoka had only offered that to keep his mind away from Watari, but inside that made him curious all the more.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

"No…she had no surviving relatives who visited her," the nurse explained while being questioned by the Shinigami pair.

"…You mean…_no one_ came to visit her while she was in the hospital?" Tsuzuki asked in disbelief, hugging himself slightly.

Hisoka shot a sympathetic glance in his direction, but that was all.

The nurse sighed.  "Well…there _was_ this young man who came to visit her every day…but whenever we tried to talk to him, he'd always run away.  It was the oddest thing.  Other than him, no.  No one came to visit her."

"That's so sad," Hisoka muttered, looking uncomfortable, "but what about that young man?  Did she say anything about him?"

The nurse sighed and admitted, "Well, one of the other nurses asked who he was and she told him…but she was always too weak and _shouldn't_ have had any visitors at all!  Only…he managed to get past security every time….  She never mentioned a word about him except when asked who he was.  _We_ think it's odd…but I do believe one of the nurses might have the information about him at the front desk.  You're welcome to stop by, though _do_ tell us who he was….  I'm afraid flighty nurses have started _silly_ rumors…."

"Silly rumors?" Tsuzuki asked curiously, sharing a glance with his partner.

"…Some of the nurses seem to have the ridiculous idea that her visitor was actually a ghost.  Isn't it silly?  Of course, I know how they came to that conclusion – he was so _pale_!" the nurse rattled on.

"We'll pass information on to you, ma'am," Hisoka reassured as the nurse beamed at him.

Nodding once in consent, Tsuzuki muttered, "Thank you," before his mind went into overdrive, trying to come up with possible solutions to the mystery.

[**Now tell me where the light is, sketch it as it dances vividly**]

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

It was then that Tsuzuki decided that phone books were a very useful thing.  Not only could they locate addresses and phone numbers, but they could also be used as a step stool if need be.  Maybe he would give Tatsumi one for Christmas….

"Are you even _listening_ to me???"  Hisoka barked, as he glared daggers at his partner.

"Whaa?" Tsuzuki asked, coming back to the real world.  "Um…sorry, I was spacing out.  Hey, do you think Tatsumi would enjoy a phone book for Christmas?"

"…Baka," Hisoka said simply, his glaring gone and replaced with mild amusement.  "I was saying that Toshiaki Seichi _is_ listed in here with a phone number and address."

"Great!" Tsuzuki exclaimed.  "I guess this makes it easy, then.  Just stop by his house and interview him, ne?"

Closing the phone book and putting it back in the booth, Hisoka sighed, "I _hope_ it'll be easy….  Things have a history of becoming very difficult for us…."

"Well…like you said in Kyoto," Tsuzuki reassured, "things could only get better."

A faint blush rose up into his cheeks.  "…Y-you're right….  Let's get this over with so we can start our vacation sooner."

Tsuzuki just nodded, noting how incredibly _adorable_ Hisoka looked just then.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

"Standing on a ghost's doorstep," Tsuzuki mused as Hisoka rang the doorbell.  Toshiaki Seichi, Hontani Mika's 'ghost,' had been relatively easy to find.  As soon as they had arrived, Hisoka assured that the house felt completely normal.

"Those are just rumors the stupid nurses started," Hisoka spat bitterly.

"Whoa, what's wrong with _you_?" Tsuzuki asked, picking up his partner's annoyance.

Staring at the door, Hisoka just sighed.  "…This house…it's so warm and comforting.  I can tell Toshiaki-san's inside – the feeling is just the same as it was in her room.  It's nothing bad at all…."

"Aa, _protective_ of our Toshiaki-san, now?" he smirked at Hisoka, winking, when the door opened.

Toshiaki Seichi, indeed, stood before them.  "…May I help you?"  The nurses were right – he _was_ pale, and thin, too.  Tsuzuki could certainly see how the rumors started.

"Konnichi wa, Toshiaki-san," Hisoka began, nodding in respect.  "I'm Kurosaki Hisoka, and this is my partner, Tsuzuki Asato."

Tsuzuki chirped cheerfully, "We're just here to talk to you about a couple of things.  Is that alright?"

"…You're Shinigami, aren't you?" Toshiaki stated simply, without emotion.

Hisoka looked startled.  "Aa…hai….  We are…but…how…?"

He paused before admitting, "Mika told me that you might be coming."

"Hontani-san…told you?" Tsuzuki restated with mild confusion, his amethyst eyes gentle.

"…Call her Mika – she was very friendly with everyone…and please do come in," Toshiaki said as he opened the door fully and led them inside.  "Sit down, if you want."

Tsuzuki and Hisoka sat on a floral print sofa in the living room while Toshiaki sat on a matching loveseat.

"Mika…said you might be coming for her," he sighed sadly, refusing to look them in the eye.

"Was that before…?" Hisoka tried to ask gently, but trailed off.

Tsuzuki could tell that Toshiaki's emotions were heavy on Hisoka and fully planned to drag him to someplace fun afterwards.

"…No," Toshiaki stated to their surprise.  "This was just last night."

Hisoka and Tsuzuki both twitched.

He gave a soft, nervous laugh.  "…She knew the Shinigami would come looking for her since her soul never went on…."

Tsuzuki said in a quiet, serious tone, "…Yes…that's exactly why we're here.  …But why has Mika's soul stayed behind?

"Well," Toshiaki explained, "Mika had no family and she was in the hospital so long that her friends…just eventually stopped visiting her.  In the end, she just had me – her boyfriend.  A couple of months ago, she was still in the hospital…but I asked her to marry me, anyway.  Our wedding was going to be the week she got out…but…as you can tell…that ended up never happening….  The last few weeks…I was so upset with the chance of losing her increasing with each day, that I became very reclusive.  The nurses tried to talk to me…but I was in no mood for them.  Mika…was very sad that I had begun living my life this way.  I really wanted to be happy again for her…but with the chances of losing her so great, it was so hard.  Eventually, she died…but the night she did, her soul came to me in the form of an apparition.  …She told me that she absolutely refused to go to the other side until I was happy…."

"…I see," Tsuzuki muttered, feeling very sympathetic for the couple.  He looked over at Hisoka and saw the boy looking very disturbed.  The urge to hug him _had_ to be suppressed….  "…So in order for her to move on…you've got to live happily again?"

The corner of Toshiaki's mouth twitched.  "…I suppose."

"Do you think she's ready to move on?"

Toshiaki simply shrugged.  "Don't know…why don't you ask her yourself?  She's bound to be around here somewhere.  Mika!"

Hisoka twitched and muttered, "Weird."

An apparition of a frail woman appeared almost immediately and 'sat' on the loveseat next to Toshiaki.

"…You were here the whole time?" he asked the apparition casually.

"Of course," she replied cheerfully.  "I told you they'd be coming for me, didn't I?"  She gave a brilliant smile to the Shinigami and introduced herself.  "I'm Hontani Mika, the woman you're looking for."

Hisoka brightened considerably, but remarked privately to his partner, "…They've never been so direct…."

"Nope," Tsuzuki agreed, then he said to Mika, "I'm Tsuzuki Asato, and this is my partner, Kurosaki Hisoka.  We're Shinigami."

"Yes…and we've come to find out why you haven't moved on," Hisoka added almost…_cheerfully_….

Tsuzuki's eye bugged at his partner and twitched.  Okay, he noted, Hisoka looked _really_ cute.  He was contemplating tackling and smothering him with hugs and kisses when they got back to the motel when Mika spoke up.

"Well…Seichi told you.  I refuse to leave until he's happy…but…each day has been better than the last."

"…Does that mean…?" Toshiaki asked with uncertainty.

"I…I think I'm going to go," Mika stated abruptly, "where I'm supposed to be.  Seichi…you'll be fine without me…you've been living your life as best you can…and for you to fully let go…I need to let go, also."

"I…I understand," he replied, a bit shocked at her words, but slightly relieved, also.

Mika nodded to the Shinigami, "Thank you….  I didn't want to stay too long because I didn't know if it'd cause trouble…but I'm going on now."  With her words, she vanished – gone to find her way to the other side.

With her withdrawal, Hisoka hugged himself slightly and looked disturbed again.

"Is he okay?" Toshiaki asked, finally noticing Hisoka.

"He's an empath," Tsuzuki explained.  "Are _you_ okay?"

Toshiaki smiled.  "Yeah…a little relieved, in fact.  I was worried about her…that she would never fully move on…but I see that she has so that means that I have to, too.  Thanks for coming and pushing her along."

"Oh…it's no problem.  …We should get going now.  Good luck with the rest of your life, Toshiaki-san," Tsuzuki said as they bid a farewell.

Once they were on the doorstep again, Tsuzuki asked,  "…So what all were you feeling back there?"

"That warm, comforting presence was her…Mika.  Even though she was dead, their love for each other hadn't diminished, and when they were together…I felt it so strongly," Hisoka explained, then a blush rose to his cheeks.  "…I have no doubt that their love…."

"Eh?" Tsuzuki muttered as he subtly slipped his arm around Hisoka's shoulder.  He kept getting cuter and cuter by the minute….

Hisoka looked up to the sky with a smile on his face.  "It was unconditional love, I'm sure."

"…What _is_ it with you and unconditional love lately?" Tsuzuki asked, hugging his partner slightly.

He tried to look put off, but failed.  Instead, he just settled for a cute blush and leaned against Tsuzuki.  "Let's file our report and take it up to Tatsumi so we can start our vacation."

"'Soka-chan has good ideas!" Tsuzuki sang playfully.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

[**Guided words overflow and come out in times of fear**]

When Tsuzuki stepped out of the shower and into the main room, he found Hisoka _still _sleeping.  Apparently the visit with Mika and Toshiaki had exhausted the empath.

Which he found incredibly adorable.

Tsuzuki mused that _everything_ lately had to do with him hugging and/or thinking Hisoka cute/adorable.  It brought him thinking about what Watari had said to him….  Yes, he _did_ feel that way about his partner…but what was it?  …Thinking about his feelings always did him no good….

"Don't think, just do," Tsuzuki muttered to himself.  Then he had an incredibly hentai thought and burst out laughing.

"Mmph," Hisoka stirred.

The red-cheeked Tsuzuki gave a small giggle before creeping up to the side of the bed Hisoka _wasn't_ facing.

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

"**HISOKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**" Tsuzuki cried out as he leaped up and jumped on the bed.  "Wake up!!!!"

"_What the **hell**?????????????????_" Hisoka yelled as it took him a while to register what Tsuzuki had done.  "…Baka…what'd you do _that_ for?"

"You need to wake up so we can turn in our report and start our vacation!" he said impishly.

"…Aa…I'm too tired for a vacation…" Hisoka yawned.

"…You're so cute when you're sleeping!" Tsuzuki giggled.  "'Soka-chan is kawaii today!"

"Baaaaaaaaka," Hisoka yawned again. {A/N: Just _writing_ about Hisoka yawning is making me do so….}

"You…" he stated dramatically, "are the epitome of cuteness."

The empath abruptly stopped yawning and turned a wonderful crimson.

Tsuzuki smiled, but spoke seriously, "I wasn't kidding when I said you were cute when you blushed."

Of course, this gave no relief to Hisoka's blush.

Suddenly struck by the impulse to kiss him, Tsuzuki leaned closer to Hisoka's face.  The sight of Hisoka's green eyes closing halfway drove him on and their lips nearly brushed.

Nearly.

Then he chickened out and missed Hisoka's lips, hitting the pillow face first.

"Tsuzuki is tired today," Tsuzuki said, muffled.

"I'll bet," Hisoka agreed, continuing his yawning.

So he hadn't exactly given into his impulse to kiss the cute empath.  It was quite all right since the next two weeks were theirs alone…and with the way Hisoka just drove him on, he was positive that there would be more impulses to give in to.

====================

End of part 3

Waa!!!!!  Watari's angsting, Tsuzuki _didn't_ kiss Hisoka, and to top it off, it's the END of the 3rd part!  Just one more!  Wait…maybe that's good thing…hee.

This…ended up being 16 pages on Word.  Hisoka's was 4 and Watari's was around 10….  Oo…I hope Tatsumi's doesn't end up being this long!

And…I'm sorry for the lameness of the whole Mika/Toshiaki thing….  Um…they needed a break from complicated assignments!  …Yeah!

And the lyrics!

_umarekawari no anata yo  hitori hohoemanaide  hitomi o irodoru_

_nozonda sekai ga totsuzen  hai ni natte mo  kiseki wa mada  megurikuru_

_todokanu hikari no yukue  azayaka ni mau  omoi o egakou_

_michibiku kotoba ga koborete shimawanu you ni  utsuru toki o  osorenaide_

====================


	4. Part 4 (Tatsumi)

Title: Sleepless Beauty (Part 4 of 4)

Author: Elf Asato

Pairings: Watari/Hisoka, Tatsumi/Watari, Tatsumi/Tsuzuki, Tsuzuki/Hisoka (O.o)

Warnings: Language, shounen-ai (obviously), mild angst, OOC?, and two incredibly stupid people…

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Sadly, Yami no Matsuei doesn't belong to me…aaa…what a world.  The song _Sleepless Beauty_ is off Gravitation, so that doesn't belong to me, either! ;.;  

Notes: Song fic to Sleepless Beauty from Gravitation.  Hn, it's just various lyrics everywhere… ^_^  I suppose it sucks to have the song drawn out in FOUR parts!  Regarding the lyrics…the English translation is in the story, but at the end are the Japanese lyrics used in that part.  Confusing, I'm sorry….  I also didn't space them very well throughout the story!  *sobs*

[**Lyrics**] Obvious….

Part 4 is Tatsumi's.  Even though the main couple is on vacation, there's still little things left undone that will bring us into the…dum dum duuuuuum………

Sequel!  Yes, I love this so much that it needs to be continued. ^_^

I wrote this while listening to Dir en Grey if that explains anything….

(Kept the notes short this time ^_^)

====================

Sleepless Beauty

Elf Asato

====================

With Tsuzuki and Hisoka gone on a much-needed vacation, Tatsumi's mind should have been at ease.  It was far from that, though.  Staring at the swirling black in his mug, he sighed in deep thought.

"Oi, Tatsumi-san," a familiar voice rang out, temporarily pulling out of his thoughts.  "You're just standing there, staring at your coffee.  Anything wrong?"

Tatsumi gave Watari _that look_, irritated at being caught off guard.  "Funny you should ask about my problems when you won't even share your own."

"Yep!  I'm the world's biggest jerk!" Watari smiled genkily, gaining the attention of most of the workers in the office.  "But it would make _you_ a jerk, too, if you didn't tell me what's wrong, since you were so inclined to grill me a few days ago."

Trying to act as dignified as possible, Tatsumi calmly stated, "I never said that there was anything wrong."

"Bullshit," Watari said with a small smirk, but Tatsumi saw his eyes were serious.

Tatsumi set his coffee mug on a desk and pushed up his glasses.  "Profanity doesn't suit you, Watari."

"Neither does you being a jerk!" Watari smiled genkily as he pinched Tatsumi's cheek, like an aunt does her nephew.

The entire office froze.

Tatsumi _glared_ at Watari, but he didn't seem to get the hint.

"Nope!  Doesn't suit you at all!" he smiled as he continued tugging on the secretary's cheek.

"…_Watari_," Tatsumi growled through clenched teeth.

"You know, if you tell me what's wrong, I'll stop!" Watari smiled brightly.

He continued to glare at the genky scientist, taking side-glances at his petrified coworkers.  "No, I _won't_ tell you what's wrong and if you _don't_ stop, I'm cutting your funding."

Watari immediately stopped.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I actually have _work_ to do," Tatsumi muttered quickly (but as dignified as possible ^_^) as he brush past the scientist.

The office sighed in relief.

Giving a quick look back, he saw that Watari hadn't moved, and kept on forward, relieved that he hadn't decided to press the matter further.

"…Tatsumi," Watari breathed as he grasped Tatsumi's shoulder from behind.

That _really_ annoyed Tatsumi and he brushed off Watari's hand, turning around to face him.  "I believe I said I had work to do."  He couldn't _believe_ that he had to actually run to catch up to him.

"I use that too many times – it's not going to work on me," Watari stated, looking Tatsumi directly in the eye.  "We keep going around in circles and nobody's going to get anywhere if we don't actually talk."

_Bastard_.

"All right, all right, we'll talk," Tatsumi sighed in a defeated tone.  "What do you want to talk about?"

"I want to talk about what's bothering you today," Watari replied casually.  "I _promise_ I won't tell a soul!  Not Tsuzuki, Bon, or _anyone_."

"You want to know what's been bothering me lately?  Fine.  I'll tell you," Tatsumi said softly, giving in to Watari's irresistible charm.

"So spill it," Watari smiled as he leaned up against a wall for comfort.

"I'm worried about you," he said simply, keeping steady eye contact with the scientist.

Watari's eyes widened a little and his mouth formed a lopsided oval.  "H-how so?" he finally asked after a brief period of silence.

Tatsumi sighed and leaned against Watari's wall beside him.  "You haven't been yourself lately….  It seems you're more scatterbrained than usual and you're faking a lot of things – your smiles, charm, and happiness among other things.  Others may not have noticed your change in behavior, but I have.  …You have tell-tale eyes, Watari."

"Oh?" he asked, sounding calm and casual, but Tatsumi was right – Watari's eyes gave everything away.

"You're a little scared and mad that you've been found out," Tatsumi stated simply with a smirk while looking into those golden eyes.

"I hate how you're so perceptive," Watari muttered, breaking their eye contact and setting his gaze to the floor.

Tatsumi lifted Watari's chin up with his finger so that their eyes met again.  He found himself gazing into surprised eyes.  "I don't like seeing you unhappy.  Your eyes…I want them to light up when you smile – just like they used to.  Whatever it is that's dulling your eyes…I want to help it go away…if you'll let me."

Watari's eyes shut halfway, looking guiltily off to the side.  His eyes were a mixture of guilt and sadness.

"…Everyone's entitled to a little happiness, Watari," Tatsumi continued, his finger still under his chin.  "You are no exception."

With this statement, the Shinigami's eyes flashed back to Tatsumi's.  "…But I've seen the way they look at each other, whether they realize it or not.  I want him to be happy, I do.  I'd be miserable if he was truly unhappy…but I also want to be with him.  I know he'd be happier without me, but I still can't help wanting to be with him.  I just…I…."  Watari broke the contact between them, and gestured pleadingly, "It seems they're just so perfect for each other, but what about me?!  Is it so _wrong_ to want to be happy?!"

Tatsumi appeared unfazed by Watari's outburst as the blond clutched a fistful of his own abundant hair and sighed.  "…It's perfectly normal to want to be happy…and there's no reason you shouldn't be."

"I…I…" Watari stammered with wide and frantic eyes.  "I'm sorry for just bursting out with that!  I mean, yeah, it was just festering inside of me, but I really didn't mean to and I really sorry about that and I–"

"Watari, you're rambling," Tatsumi stated, shutting him up.  Watari just stared at him dependently as he continued on, "I assume you're talking about Kurosaki-kun?"

"Aa…yes," Watari muttered, staring at the floor again.  "But how…?

"Like you said, I'm very perceptive."

Tatsumi felt his gaze on his shoulder and heard Watari sigh, "…Surely you've noticed how he and Tsuzuki look at each other.  They both obviously love each other, though they may not realize it…."

"As emotional as he seems, Tsuzuki's not really the type to recognize what his feelings are immediately.  It's…often a little too late before he decides to act upon them.  But," he continued, "I agree with you.  It's obvious to everyone that they're absolutely in love with each other.  Obvious to everyone but them."

"So you see my dilemma?" Watari chuckled nervously.

Tatsumi gave him a comforting gaze and said, "Yes, I can relate to it quite well."

"…You're in love with Tsuzuki, aren't you?"

"Were."

"_Were_?" Watari repeated, nonplussed.  "Aa, I guess I'm not as good at reading people as I thought…."

He chuckled lightly.  Watari _almost_ had him pegged.  "No, you actually are…but Kurosaki has indirectly called me unreadable more than once.  In a sense, though, you were right.  I was deeply in love with Tsuzuki at one time in my life…."

"So what happened?" Watari asked, radiating with curiosity.

"…Nothing," Tatsumi shrugged.  "We were partners at the time and I kept dropping subtle hints, hoping he'd get at least one of them, but he never did.  After two and a half months of unrequited love, I decided that I couldn't be beside him each day feeling like that, so I became a secretary.  Though, I do think he eventually realized I was in love with him and found himself in love, too, but by the time he figured all this out…it was too late."

"What do you mean by 'too late?'" Watari asked, interested.

"It was just too late.  I still loved him, and I still do today, but…I guess someone else attracted my attention," Tatsumi sighed.

"Oh?" he asked.  "Who?"

There was silence for a few seconds before Tatsumi replied, "I know Tsuzuki is in love with Kurosaki, but I don't want him to make the same mistake as he did with me.  That's why I persuaded Kachou to send them on a two-week vacation, and if they don't come back all over each other…I swear I don't know what I'll do to that idiot…."  Tatsumi chuckled lightly before Watari interrupted.

"You didn't answer my question."

"…You really want me to tell you whom I fell in love with at first sight…?  The person who, just by looking at me, gives me the strength to live day after day?"

Watari was definitely intrigued.  "Uh huh…!"

Tatsumi looked up in thought for a moment before returning back to Watari, smiling, "I believe there's this phrase….  'That's for me to know and you to find out.'  Is that it?"

"Ooh, you're so mean!" Watari cried out, all chibi-like.

"I can only tell you so much in one day," Tatsumi chuckled.

"…Tatsumi…" normal Watari {A/N: That's like 'jumbo shrimp' ^^;;} muttered, "why _did_ you tell me about your unrequited love with Tsuzuki?"

Tatsumi just gave a soft smile to the blond.  "Because we're the same."

After being motionless for a few seconds, Watari broke out into a broad smile.  "So we are."

"There you go.  That's the smile I like to see," he said softly, as if the noise would chase it away, and then his expression turned very serious.  "But…Watari, I really want you to think about how you feel for Kurosaki-kun.  Do _you_ want to be happy with him…or do you want _him_ to be happy with Tsuzuki more?  Now, I really _do_ have work to do now, so I'll let you think about it…."

"…You're right," he heard Watari sigh as he started to walk off, "so…ah, Tatsumi…?"

"Hmm?" he asked as he stopped and turned to face the Shinigami again.

"…I…I'd like to request a few days off."

Tatsumi shook his head.  "Kachou wouldn't let you with both Tsuzuki and Kurosaki off, though you haven't missed a day of work since becoming a Shinigami."

"It's…it's not as if the Kyoto area is really busy anymore," Watari muttered, "and I'm sure it'll be easy to cover…."

Pushing up his glasses, he sighed, "I'll talk to Kachou about it and if worse comes to worse, I'll cover the area for you since we've already arranged for the Nagasaki area to be taken care of for these two weeks.  He won't like it…but I think he'll understand."

"Thank you very much," he smiled.  Tatsumi smiled at how his golden eyes were as happy as his expression.  "I really hate to trouble anyone, but I just–"

"I understand," he nodded trying to get away again, "and like I said, I _do_ have to get back to work…."

"And…Tatsumi?"

He sighed.  "Yes…what is it, Watari?"

"…Like you said, everyone is entitled to a little happiness and you're no exception.  When something's bothering you, tell someone.  Don't just keep it in – you'll never be happy that way."

"This coming from you," Tatsumi muttered.

"Yeah, but you made me tell you about it and I felt better and a little happier.  If you tell someone your problems, you always feel better afterwards.  So…if I have to be happy, you do, too," Watari lectured seriously, but then he smiled good-naturedly, "besides, if you're happy, you're not as tight about the budget!"

"Oh…_you_," Tatsumi smirked, not knowing what else to say.  "…But thank you."

"We're friends, right?" Watari asked abruptly.

Tatsumi just stared at him a little before nodding, "Of course we are."

That broad smile graced the scientist's face.  "Great!  …Okay, now, seriously, we both need to get to work….  Aa, so I'll see you later!"

"Right," Tatsumi nodded, but Watari had already bounced off in a considerably lighter mood.  He sighed, heading back to the office.  Whatever he had originally planned to do was forgotten.

"…I don't want it to be like it was with us," he muttered into the open air.  "I don't think I could live like that anymore…."

[**Hold me gently, catch me forever, do more until my heart breaks down**]

~Owari~

===================

And that's the end of Sleepless Beauty!  Oo…the ending was so terrible….  I had a little trouble keeping the focus on Tatsumi because it kept shifting to Watari!  He's such an attention-whore, I swear….  ^_^

This ended up being shorter than Watari's part, but longer than Hisoka's…if…anyone cares….

Oh, and the person Tatsumi is in love with is Kachou……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………just kidding.  ^_^

But yes, there still IS going to be the sequel so don't flame me or whatnot for the sucky ending….

And thank you SOOOOOO much everyone who reviewed!  I just stared at the page of reviews for inspiration as I wrote this… ^_^ Thank you everyone!

And the lyrics!  It's just one line… ^^;;

_sotto dakishimete  zutto tsukamaete  motto kokoro made kowasu you ni_

====================


End file.
